Friday, March 10, 2006
Erath
21:40
Erath is a world where its residents squabble constantly. Wars are fought to obtain energy sources like peanut oil for instance. The President of Unreal Sympathy of All, John Shrub invaded Iqar using lame excuses that Sadistic Heron, leader of Iqar, is sadistic. So John Shrub, who hate sadistic people, ordered the army to invade Iqar. Of course, the people who are much more skilled in Social Studies would know what is actually going on. Iqar has the world largest peanut garden ever. The country exports 300 million tonnes of peanut oil annually. The Unreal Sympathy, being advanced in technology, required a lot of peanut oil. So they invaded Iqar to steal the secret recipe of how to process peanuts (to pooof! become koco cruch! =) note that the snack is misspelt to avoid copyright lawsuit =)). So the world went on thinking that the Unreal Sympathy actually sincerely felt sorry for the citizens under the rule of the sadistic Sadistic Heron.Another event that shook the world is the the great oil drop. The oil refinery sent a shipment of processed peanut oil via an airship. The airship crashed, dropping the oil and causing the ocean to go bigbadaboom! 500 thousand people were killed.Luckily, Pingasore was not hit by the devastating oil. The destructive force of the wave was shielded by natural barriers. There was much debate about how to clear the oil up. Some dumbass in a survey team flew over the oil spill and dropped a buring cigarette into the oil. Another bigbadaboom. Thankfully, the dumbass died together with the hopelessly fickle minded scientific team. The resulting explosion flash fried the ocean and those who suffered in the oil wave had free fried fish. No aid needed from the even more slow and unresponsive world organisation, the Unresponsive Noodles. Usually, a lot of people die from natural disasters. However, the Noodles, being unresponsive, take their time with getting funds and other admin crap. So by the time aid can be sent, MORE PEOPLE ARE DEAD! Fried fish also tastes better than food in the ration packs.There are even more stupid things going on in Erath that could be, should be and would be mentioned. I cannot fit all of them into one entry. So stay tuned for more stupid things that the denizens of Erath do.