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Hell March II - Westwood
Die Waffen, legt an!!
The long awaited Red Alert 3!
Let me tell you what Roving Vanilla Hip School does. The edict, passed from the Emperor to the Heirophant and finally to the operatives, commands the operatives to herd students and prevent them from eating. The students were hungry, on purpose of course. The Heirophant ordered all levels to have recess at the same time to get maximum number of students in the canteen (I wonder who eats who...). Then it's harvesting time. Harvest what?? The acid formed in the students stomach of course. Easy source of hydrochloric acid for Chemistry lessons the operatives attend, learning how to make WMDs to use against the students (targets). How is the acid harvested? Simple. Don't kill the goose that lays the golden egg? Whou gives a damn. Slice open the students' stomach and drain the acid gathered. Tada, you're done.
-posted by a HUNGRY shadowkat
Ah, the wondrous custom checkpoints in Pingasore's Shabi Airport. It is well known for its stringent checks. But a thought came to mind. What if the cutom officer on duty is fucked-up and decides to screw your day? Happens, you know. Through asstral[sic] voyage to Pingasore, Erath, I saw this guy getting his backpack searched as the fucker on duty saw a scissors in the shit-ray machine. Guess what? It turns out to be a carabiner (mountain climbing hook-like object). I cannot blame that dumb fuck though, his Iq is waaaaaaaaaay below average. And I'm talking negative low.
That is not the scary part; what if the fucker decides that you're a terrorist and decides to strip-check, arrest and charge you if you argued? You can't do a damn fucking thing can you? 'Cos he's the law and you jolly-fucking-well listen? Law is a good 3-letter word. I suppose KGB and secret police can fall under the 'meaning' section for that word. If government officials (ahem, fuckers) from, let's say, Pingasore decides to charge you in court for being human, what can you do? Nothing. If you do not serve the sentence, they can declare you dangerous, trial you in absence and assasinate you. You will be a classified statistic and cannot complain to anyone at all. Democracy?
Dumb
Exaggerated
Meaning
Of
Control-hungry
Rat
Asses
Controlling
You
Democracy
Did I mention dictatorship also starts with a letter 'd'? You are a numbered document in a government agency's cabinet. To them, you have no life, no name, no soul. They delete you, you are gone. You are just a number. They read your life like a book, your thoughts, your feelings. They are not an entity of leadership or wealth, but of power and finality. One word, you are dead. One memo, you are gone. They send you on with just a note on a Fuck-it Pad.
More nonsense from an imaginary world. My country ain't that bad, I sincerely hope. For not would it be like a living hell, freedom in a lifetime prison.
Pingasore has to keep hell-thy relations with her neighbours. It is out of fear. Out of fear that the Pingasore soldiers would storm, conquer, occupy and annihilate these 'friends'. Of course, it would be good to eliminate them, but to show the world that they love animals, they simply cannot.
Recently, an incident in a neighbouring country - Cheebyesia, got many Pingasoreans worked-up. Pingasorean cars were held up by a road-block to 'check for terrorists'. Haha. I mean what the fuck? Ain't it obvious? Okay, so maybe you're mentally retarded(jk =P), so let me explain it. The 'police' wanted to confiscate the Pingasoreans' passports, driver liscense and cars. The Pingasoreans were also forced to queue just to use the toilet. The leacherous 'police' even asked women to pee in the bushes. Can't blame those poor bastards. I mean, Pingasoreans should learn the phrase: when in Rome, do as the Romans does. In other words, they must fit in. So when Pingasoreans go to Cheebyesia, try to act like a total Cheebye. Bring lots of cash. The robbers there have many children. Bring more passports, identification documents and cars. After all, the 'police' would detain you and 'confiscate' these stuff from you. Pingasorean stuff can fetch a high price in the black market. How often do you see a dog drive a car? Obviously the Cheebyes cannot afford cars and have to confiscate the Pingasoreans'. It's unfair, I hear you say. Well, suck it up big boy, 'cos Erath is a tough place. Do not try to argue with the 'police'. Their evidence for detaining you would be because you are Erathian, and they are dogs. Of the most cheebye mongrels.
So there you are. Fresh news from Erath in a galaxy far, far away. It has nothing to do with Earth or Singapore. I mean it. Really.
Look! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a meteor, it's bird shit, it's a moron who can fly dressed in leotard and knickers. Nope all wrong. That is the missile North-north-western Chlorian are going to test fire. The second version in the dung series, the That's-a-dung! II missile will prove to be shittier than ever. It has a primary ability to be a vector and dispersal mechanism for the dung warhead. The dung warhead contains the stinkiest substances in North-north-west Chloria.
The populace of Erath are kicking a big fuss as Their Dearest and Sweetest Honey Sore Loser of North-north-west Chloria is going to test fire this horrid and disguting dud missile. I mean, c'mon, a dud missile that has a long range and probably will not explode is gonna kill people. With no danger at all, of course people will be angered....just for the fun of it.
But who cares as long as the missile scares the Unilaterally Silly Angsters. That country has been the big bro of the world. Guess what big brothers do to younger siblings? They bully, beat and fight 'em. So a country able to scare big bro shitless is definitely a worthy ally. The enemy of the enemy of the enemy of my enemy is my friend. As long as Chlorea does not nuke Pingasore. If not I will have to end the Chronicles prematurely.
-More nonsense by Shadowkat
Ooook, so its been a darn long time since I updated my blog. But hey, MapleStory is a great way to burn time. Its comparable to how the operatives burn students. So many issues to talk about, but they were all taken care of by Mr Brown and Mr Miyagi (right spelling?).
What's with the football fever? Its like a epidemic. If aliens wants to invade Earth, they would do it during the World Cup. Its a funny virus that affect most males of the homo sapiens. Maybe even the homo erectus as erecting is something some people experience when a country scores. Thing is that, aliens could go round frying people and nobody will give two shits worth of their attention. Much less a pint of camel piss.
And what's with the name: World Cup? I mean what the fuck? Who would want to shape the Earth into a cup. That must be the idea of some wicked mad scientist. Hey operatives of Roving Vanilla, you could learn what's 'evil mastermind geniusness[sic]' from this guy. Why fry students when you can fry the world. And half the world's population. And Pingasore. And irritating people. Think about it ok?
Ok let's talk World Cup. Have anyone noticed that there hasn't been a case of a streaker in this World Cup? Seriously, I think the world population is shrinking. With people less sex-oriented, the world population will decrease. Ain't that great? And there's this thing about World Cup is that 'strong' teams got their butts handed to them. On a silver platter. Booya. Where is the 'strongness' in them? Beng-land being the hot favourites, just got cooled to the Bose-Einsteinium Condensate (0K). How’s that? I can predict many beer-sodden people feeling the pains of a heart-attack after betting their life-savings, houses and wives. Thus World Cup = Suicide = Population Control = Ecological Friendly. Equation solved.
Just my two cents worth.
- shadowkat